We can be our own worst critics, don't fall into the trap

Many times, we are often more critical of ourselves, forgetting to see the big picture. Last week I received the link to my FREE race photos from the Oshkosh Half Marathon. Yes!  Free race pics!  It's not often that I actually get race pictures that I like, let alone ones I would want to pay for!  So when I saw that these ones were free, I had hope.

I hated them!  

I looked like I was dying!

I saved off a few of them and posted them to one of the Facebook running groups that I follow, to share my "Pathetic" pictures. 

After a few comments from other group members I stopped and realized I fell into the trap. I looked at those pics and saw every flaw.  But now I decided that I needed to share these here also.  We all need to remember that one picture, one moment, one day, does not define who we are.  It is just one grain of sand that is part of the beauty that is created by the beach!

I saw the pounds that I put on when I was sick earlier this year. 

I looked exhausted.  My shirt kept crawling up...

I knew how much my feet and legs just wanted to be done. 

I was missing the bigger picture. 

I was a runner

I was strong and determined. 

Only I knew how hard I've worked to get to where I was

I'm a mom, a wife, a sister and a friend. 

Oh yeah... I actually have pretty good running form (thanks Nate and Lisa for helping with that over the years with those Running Assessments!)

After stopping to think about it, I really have a better appreciation for these pictures.   

5 years ago, I couldn't run a mile, now I'm training for my first Ultra Marathon. 

I have a family that supports my running adventures (yes they often think I'm crazy, but they still support my crazy ideas, dreams and desires)

I have met some of the best friends I could ask for because of these running adventures. 

I may never get that "perfect" race photo, but each "imperfect" one helps to remind me how far I've come. I will probably never win a race, but that's not what it's about. It's about being true to myself, running MY race and pushing myself to be the best version of me that I can be!

Don't get so focused on the little details that you forget to see the whole story!  You are stronger than you give yourself credit for!

Am I really crazy? I guess it depends on who you ask!

I am the first to admit that over the last few years I have become more that just a casual runner.  What started out as a few casual 5k's over several years has turned into something much bigger. 5 years ago, I was overweight, tired and could barely run a 5k.  This year I will have run over 700 miles and 6 half marathon, as well as countless other races and relays, still have a few pounds to lose, but the scale is no longer my focus.  Getting health is.  I am the first to admit that what I do is not what "normal" people do... but then again, I don't think I could really ever be called normal!

I have lost track of how many times I have been asked why I do all of the running that I do, if I am completely nuts or how I can have that much energy to do everything that I do.  My husband has commented to of several of our friends that if someone ever wants to know where I am, it is usually one of 3 places... Running, the Gym or working (ok, maybe 4 - home either trying to catch some sleep or relaxing with a glass of wine)!  If you say one of these places, you are probably right!  The response is usually "Why" or  "You're nuts", "You really RUN 13 miles... at once... for fun?" Honestly, I don't expect most people to understand.  Hours each week at the gym, miles on my feet running hitting the pavement (or Dreadmill on some of those extreme weather days), early morning alarms to get to the gym or to meet a friend to run... these are just some of the crazy things that I have been doing over the last few years. In fact there are times I have questioned why I do it all. However, it is a choice that I made and it has been one of the best things that I could have done!

Yes, I have lost track of the number of times that I have turned down plans with friends because I have an early run the next morning.  Or the nights that we have gone out with friends and instead of ordering a beer, I have stuck with water or some other beverage because I had a race coming up.  I don't need to have a beer in my hand to have fun - I just need my friends!  Running, as well as all of the strength training, has taught me so much about myself and what I am capable of and how strong I really can be.  

Is it worth it?

Absolutely!

The idea of challenging myself to do something that only a small percentage of the population does is beyond exciting.  Each time I cross the finish line at any race, it is a true feeling of accomplishment, knowing that all of the hard work I have been doing is paying off.

But it is more than just what running has proven to me that I can personally accomplish!  Between all of the running and working out at Fitness Renegades, I have made some great friends who help to keep me motivated (and I cannot forget the friends that I have met via social media - we may have never met, but sometimes that does not matter)!  We are all in this fitness adventure together, sharing workout ideas, training together (I will never look at a tubing hill or a pile of car tires the same again!), sharing healthy meal ideas and everything in between.  We all may not be runners, but the fitness mentality is there!  Together, we understand what the other is going through, the aches and pains of running or lifting, what to eat (or not eat) before a long run or tough workout, the pains of foam rollers (or even what one is), proper hydration... the list goes on.  Unless you are a runner,  are married to one or are a fitness junkie, you probably don't get it - and I don't' expect you to.  It is a truly unique lifestyle that one chooses.

I started doing this as something for me, but it has turned into something more.  Hearing that someone has started running because of me, or they started a new workout program because I somehow inspired them, or that they are working on improving their eating habits as a result of watching what I have been doing... well, that is still something that is taking me some getting accustomed to!  It also encourages me to keep going!  My son has started running 5k and 10k events with myTEAM TRIUMPH, has improved is race times and has even started coming to the gym with me once in a while!  Heck, my husband has even started walking some 5k's now!  I know that he will never be a runner, but just the fact that he is out there walking, I am super proud of him!  Everyone has to start somewhere and if I can help someone with that start, it makes all of this worthwhile!

I know that I am still a work in progress.  I know that with continued hard work, I will eventually get where I want to be - even if that end point changes from time to time! I also love the fact that I am helping other people make healthy changes, no matter how small, in their life!  I am also forever grateful for my husband who has put up with my crazy schedule, countless "vacations" that are somehow related to a race I want to run or my 2 hour trips to the grocery store(s) to find everything that I need for the next week's meals!  Without him, I know that I would not be able to do everything that I do!  Thank you John, for everything you do for me!

Then I originally started this blog, my thought was that if I could encourage ONE person to make a small change to improve their life, it was worth it.  In the end it is helping me to continue to make healthy changes in my life, and I am continuously grateful for those that I am meeting along the way that 

Yes I probably am crazy, but that's just who I am!  It is just an honor to know that I have done something to encourage positive changes in others!

Oh, and technically I am only HALF crazy... maybe one day I will run a full marathon and be completely crazy, but right now, half is my limit!

So for all of you out that that keep me going, Thank you!

... and now time to pack and get ready to head to Chicago!  Women Rock Half Marathon, here we come!

The past is behind you... do you really want to go back?

The other morning, I was listening to some of the back episodes of the Jilliam Michaels podcast and part of the segment, she was talking about living in or looking back at your past.

It is your past... do you really want to go back there?

Think back to where you were 10 years ago...  where were you working? Who were your friends, what was your relationship with like with your family?  What was important to you?  How is that different that what you have today?

If you changed things from 10 years ago, how would that affect what you have and who you are today?  If you were to go back 10 years, would you really be happier?  Armed with the knowledge that you have now, would that really make life better?

When I look back 10 years, there are good things and there are not so good things. I has just left a job that I really enjoyed,  moved to a new city with my son (he was 5) over 2 hours away from my family (to be closer to the wonderful man that is now my husband), left behind many friends (and found out who my true friends were!), had NO job.  Now, I have so much more that I could have ever realized at the time!  I have some great friends, my husband and I have been married for 7 years.  I changed careers and have a job that I love with some amazing coworkers.  Even though my family is over 2 hours away, we still keep in touch and we see them on a fairly regular basis (especially thanks to social media and so many other advances in technology!).  I am still the same person I was back then, but I am also very different!  10 years ago, I would never have even thought about running a 5k (or even spending time at the gym or doing much exercising!) and now I training for a full marathon.  But that is just one example of how things change.  I could fill the rest of this posts with how things have changed, but is not the point of my post today.

If you are reveling in the "good ol' days" how can you live in the present and enjoy what you have today?  What if this is the best moment of your life but you are so caught up in reminiscing about the past that you miss what you have right now?  If you are living in the past, you could be missing that moment that is now.  I am going to make sure that I go out every day and enjoy what I have, live for today and make sure that I get everything out of life that I can!

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with remembering the past and enjoying the memories that made you who you are today.  I have some amazing memories from the past that I will always enjoy going back to, remembering the days, or even moments.  But remembering these moments and living in the past are two different things.

If you are anything like me, you have changed and grown so much over the years.  If there was something from a time in the past that you really enjoyed, but don't have now, what do you need to get that feeling again?  If it was a job, what was it about that job that you enjoyed?  Why not go out and find that same enjoyment in a job in today.

Your not dead yet.  Don't live in the past.  Live your today for everything that it can be and is.  This could be your best moment ever and you don't' want to miss it!